Ensuring students can come to school as their true selves

It is very interesting, said Elissa Kline-Beber, for the adults at Toronto’s York School to see the degree that today’s students are flexible, open and understanding when it comes to different gender identities.
“We had a student who was coming in for a tour and the parents asked us to “front load” this student’s gender identity, and following the parents and the student’s wish, we did,” said the school’s associate head of wellbeing.
“And the kids were like, ‘Got anything else for us Elissa?’ They were so, ‘Yeah, yeah, let me get back to math,’ which was a really interesting moment for me and my own education of the level of kids understand.”
The York School, which operates a junior, middle and senior school in midtown Toronto, has moved away from describing itself as co-educational, instead referring to itself as gender inclusive.
“Co-educational, by its very nature, suggest a binary and our understanding of gender has developed over time,” said Kline-Beber. “We really talk the language of being a gender-inclusive school where everyone can show up as they are, in the same way other expressions of identity can show up as they are.
“It is a key pillar of our strategic plan and something that we are really committed to at all parts of our school. Our goal is to make sure that our students feel a sense of belonging at school and they can bring their whole selves to school.”
Examples of this approach include the use of preferred pronouns, upgrading more washrooms and changerooms to be gender inclusive, and a move away from teachers addressing a class of students as boys and girls.
On the first day of school, students are also asked to fill out an information form where they can share all kinds of things about their identity, pronouns being just one of them. “They are telling us what they want us to know about aspects of their gender and how they identify,” said Kline-Beber.
And this also extends to the York’s uniforms. She said the school no longer refers to specific pieces of clothing as being for girls or boys. Instead, all the options are presented on a website and students can mix and match what they want to wear.
“Students need a place of belonging, and what they identify with comes along an array of factors, and gender is just one of them,” said Helen Gin, principal of York’s middle school. “We are being responsive and evolving with that purpose in mind. And there are schools out there that might not see it that way.”
Located a few blocks west of the York School’s two campuses in midtown is The Bishop Strachan School, an all-girls academy with roots dating back to 1867. The Anglican day and boarding school has evolved over its 157 years — including who can apply to go there.
Under its Admissions FAQ webpage, the school notes that it works “unceasingly towards being an inclusive community that celebrates the unique voices of all individuals. BSS welcomes applications from any candidate who identifies as a girl, and also from non-binary students who were assigned female at birth and feel comfortable attending a girls’ school.”
Radhika Raj is the school’s director of inclusive excellence. She works with students, teachers and senior leadership at the school through mentoring, holding workshops and training, and looking at the curriculum and policies of the school to promote equity.
“If a student feels connected with their peers at school, and with their teachers, they are going to feel safe asking for help in the classroom, asking for questions to clarify information that they are learning,” she said.
At Bishop Strachan, Raj said, this includes case-by-case discussions about the school’s uniform and options like pants instead of skirts, being mindful of asking students how they want to be referred to, and the creation of a ‘learner portrait’ where they can describe aspects of their identity that they want the teacher to know.
“Students will remind us to ensure that when we are speaking to a group of students, we are addressing them correctly,” said Raj. “Even though most of our population might identify as girls and women, we still need to ensure our language is inclusive of everybody.
“We know that incorrect language can be triggering, and that person is not going to be able to learn,” Raj said. “We know that the slightest comment or change in body language can throw off a student’s whole day and affect their ability to learn and connect to the people around them.”
Raj said Bishop Strachan recently updated its diversity statement to include language relevant to today, and also ensure it is not only about showing understanding and compassion, but also the actions members of the school community can demonstrate that are helpful and ethical toward different communities.
“We are looking at how we are encouraging the students to build their inquiry skills, their thinking skills and their information literacy skills so that when it comes to learning about the world that they are thinking critically and are challenging barriers, challenging systematic racism and asking questions regardless of whether or not it affects them.”
As with the example of using inclusive language, Raj said it is often the students who are initiating some of these discussions around equity and identity at Bishop Strachan.
“Most of it comes from them, and it all goes back to them,” she said. “We know that our young people are coming in with knowledge that we adults have had to learn later or unlearn. So, there is a lot of respect for the voices of the students.”
Students leading the charge has also been experienced at the York School. “We see examples of it all the time, the degree to which young people are in-tune and respectful and understanding, I think that is one of the things that gives us a lot of hope and appreciation of our kids,” said Kline-Beber.